Learning to Accept God’s Will in My Life

I have been putting off writing this for a while now. I guess I was waiting for the end of the story. But if we are going to be honest, there isn’t an end to God’s will affecting and guiding my life.

All of this started in the spring of 2021. My husband and I were coming up on our 1 year anniversary. Life was going really well for us and we were so happy. He had just got a new job that was working out really well. I had been hired on at a company that would bring nothing but good things for us. I was getting ready to finish up my schooling and we were making plans to move back home to Nevada.

Or so we thought.

On our way out to Coral Pinks one Saturday, I was using the drive time to look for lots for sale where we had been hoping to live once I graduated. We always wanted to go back to Nevada and be near friends and family. Be around to help out when needed.

Anyway, I was really struggling to find anything that would work for us and mentioned this is to Shad. He paused and then mentioned to me that he had been feeling for a while like we were meant to stay in Cedar where I had been going to school. When he said that, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Not in a bad way but in a “ wow you should really listen up. This is going to be important “ kind of way.

The more we talked about it over the next couple of weeks, the more we really thought that we needed to stay in Cedar for the next few years at least. But neither of us was very excited about it. Shad’s parents are getting old and we’re running the ranch all by themselves. My brother has some pretty severe disabilities that were starting to get the better of my parents. We both felt like we had a responsibility to get back to Nevada and help out however we could. It is where we wanted to be and where we thought we were needed. But God had a different plan for us.

While struggling with all of this for a few weeks I had been studying in Come Follow Me. I was reading in D&C 48. It felt like God himself was telling me exactly what was going to happen and that I needed to get over myself and prepare for it. Shad was working late and I immediately sent home this text.

Hey. I was just calling to tell you I’m having a really hard time with this whole staying thing. I didn’t realize how hard it has been to be away from home and how much holding on to the idea of going back has kept me going. Anyway, I’ve been praying all day, well for a couple of weeks really but even more these last couple of days and tonight my scripture study was D&C 48.

Read it and you’ll understand. It’s only 6 verses but I feel like I was just smacked back into my place with a 2×4. Anyway. It’s going to take me a while to accept this even though I have no doubt this is what we are supposed to be doing and I could just really use some extra support for the next little while.

And that is pretty much how it went for the next little while. We went through a lot of ups and downs. Lots of anger lots of crying but also lots of peace. While we were upset with the way things were going, we knew it was right. And we were being so blessed for our efforts.

Shortly after deciding to stay in cedar, we both get impressed that we were to buy a house. We found the most amazing realtor. Some guys I worked with connected me to a fantastic lender and we got started looking for our home.

This is so much easier said than done. (I say is because, after more than 6 months, we are still looking.) But we were hopeful. Pretty quickly we found a house that seemed it would be perfect for us and our future family. We put in an offer and we got the house.

Now I know what you are thinking. I said that we were still looking. And we are. Once we had the inspection there were some pretty major issues with the house and we decided to move on. But this was a huge step in our journey to learn to accept the will of God in our lives.

As things progressed it felt that everything kept falling into place. Shad for a raise at work so we could afford more of what we were looking for. When we finally got up the courage to tell our parents that we would not be coming home, they were more supportive than we could have ever imagined. One of our roommates decided to move with us once we find a house to help us with our mortgage. Our other roommate asked to take over our lease so that we could move out sooner. And our realtor found us property after property in this historically awful market.

It after so many offers falling through and the difficulty in finding a property that could accommodate our professions, we got very discouraged. It was hard to understand that God wanted us here and we knew that but it felt as though we had been abandoned in our efforts to follow the promptings of the spirit.

This isn’t true at all. The only thing that got me through this was the small tender mercies of the Lord. Despite the difficulties in finding a house, we were more blessed than ever. Or at least we noticed it more.

We had lots more experiences trying to find a house, offer falling through, signing on houses to get the papers shredded, and on more than one occasion falling in love with a house only to have lost it again.

Despite my belief that buying a house in this market should have been the 10th level of Dante’s inferno, I wouldn’t change this experience for anything. I have grown so much more aware of God’s hand in my life. I am so much more grateful for every little thing that I have been blessed with. I feel like my relationship with my Father in Heaven is maturing and improving every day.

I know that one of these days soon we will have a house and while living away from home is still difficult, I grow more ok with it every day. I know that this trial will soon pass, and that I will probably become more lax in developing my spiritual relationships. And I know that I will be given more trials to push me closer to my Heavenly Father and the person that He knows I can be.

I’m never going to understand God’s will for my life. And that’s ok. But I can learn to accept it. As hard as that may be at times.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *